A busy day

I am such a basketcase...an emotional wreck. I went down to see Benjamin this morning just as they were getting ready to do bloodwork. I am so thankful I was there to hold his little hand while the nurse pricked his tiny foot, but watching him in pain was so hard. When he cries no sound comes out because of the tubes, and I think that makes it even worse.
Today was such a busy day. I finally was discharged from the hospital, but had to do a lot of running around. I went back to the hospital and the nurse finally let me hold him for the first time. He was wrapped up so tight and it was difficult with all the wires in tubes, but I managed to snuggle him for an hour and a half. It was so amazing. He's a little fighter. He is constantly trying to pull his tubes out. The good news was they turned down the ventilator and the doctor even mentioned that if he's stable they may be able to take him off all together with in the next day or two. Wouldn't that be amazing? the nurse also said they were going to start his feeding today or tomorrow. He'll get 1 ml of milk per feed...such a tiny amount. I have managed to pump 15mls for him already which will be the best thing for him...
The girls are so happy I am home...now comes finding the balance between home and hospital. I'm glad school is done soon, that should make things a little easier.