Its been a year since Benjamin's last surgery...so much has happened since then.  He's grown so much..is walking and talking and acting like a typical (almost) two year old.  I love that.  He's beautiful and vivacious and I love every inch of him.  He is the light of  my life.  But..I can't help think about how his life started out, all the terrifying moments, each surgery.   I think about it less, but the memories are still so real and vivid in my mind.   These past few weeks one of Benjamin's NICU buddies had surgery for a bowel obstruction.  She had had surgery early in life and the obstruction came as a result of scar tissue build up.  This snapped me back into the  reality that Benjamin will never be "out of the woods" when it comes to that.  There will always be a risk because of all of the bowel trauma he sustained early on.  I've felt panicky about it, even paranoid.  I hate feeling that way..every day.  I hate worrying about things that aren't in my control.  I think I need to pray more...actually I know I need to pray more.  And I need to remember that through all the terrifying moments, not knowing if Benjamin would ever come home, He was with me..  and I need to hand it over.   Life is so hard sometimes....

Anyways, here are some pictures of Benjamin's belly a year later.

Anyways, we're busy getting ready for our big trip....Lots of planning in taking 3 kids to the carribean.  It will be a nice break though, and we all need it.